For the first month or two of my son's life, life as I knew it kind of stopped. Except for running short errands and the 10 days my in-laws came to visit from Japan, we really didn't leave the house! Sleep deprived - check. Scared of him crying in public and me not being able to settle him down - check. Scared of him getting too cold in the blustery weather - check. Terrified to breastfeed in public - check! The last thing on my mind was trying to go out and meet up with old friends, or seek out new friends. I was pretty darn content to hang at home with my little one! When I needed advice or support, I turned to my family via e-mail and Skype, and the Internet's many forums for moms. While pregnant, I had joined my due date month groups at What to Expect and Mothering, and as everyone in those groups is at the same stage as me and Kenzo, it's been a great place to be involved (or just lurk)!

But getting into his third month, I got him on a schedule and things really turned around. We are both getting plenty of sleep, I *usually* know why he's crying and how to calm him, I've breastfed in public and while I don't like it I can't use it as an excuse to stay home anymore. And daytime TV is really getting old... So, Kenzo and I wanted to get out of the house more but didn't know any moms and babies in the neighborhood! I reached out far and low through the above mentioned sites as well as Cafe Mom, and found a few new moms in Bay Ridge. We had a little play date and I decided to make a Facebook group ("Bay Ridge Baby Mamas") and in just a couple of weeks it's grown to 21 members! We've met for our local library's "Babies & Books" and took a stroll to the park and nearby pier. It's nice because the kids are various ages so moms with older ones can give us with younger ones great advice. Kenzo's not really interacting with others just yet, but soon he will be and it'll be nice to have such a fun group of friends to play with! Just yesterday, Kenzo got a free Bumbo chair from one of the moms, yay!

So, I couldn't be more thrilled to have met such a wonderful group of moms in our neighborhood, and as beautiful spring weather approaches I'm really looking forward to getting out and about more, exploring the area with Kenzo while chatting with new friends, and burning off this pesky baby weight! ^_^

While still pregnant, I was fairly certain I would be returning to work after the 12 weeks maternity leave. I had never pictured myself as a stay at home mom. I thought it would drive me crazy. Picture Charlotte in Sex and the City 2 locking herself in the closet and losing it while her children wreak havoc in the kitchen. Fast forward to the moment I met my son and knew right then and there that it would be a momentously difficult decision whether or not to return to work.

I have been a notorious job hopper since graduating from college. Teaching English in Japan, editing and proofing translation work, doing HR and PR in New York... I have never stayed at one job for more than 2 years. Although I loved my current job at the Japanese Chamber of Commerce, not having an extensive and long-lived career going on swayed my decision both ways. On the one hand, it's not like I have years and years of perfecting a specific skill in an upper level position that I'm giving up. On the other hand, it seems like finding a great job once I'm ready to go back will be that much harder.

My husband and I kept discussing the matter but never really reaching a decision about it. It wasn't until around 6 weeks postpartum, when I realized my leave was halfway over, that we really sat down and hashed it out. We had visited 3 day care centers in our neighborhood. Because of the time they close, and the length of my commute, I'd have to leave work by about 4:30pm which is, um, impossible. At one of them, I kept getting wafts of cigarette smoke during the tour and later saw several of their workers outside smoking. This freaked me out! I don't want my little baby exposed to third hand smoke 12 hours a day!!! Hello asthma!! Other than the smoking, paying $400/week and leaving my baby with strangers that were not accountable to me also sent me into a panic. What was positive about going back to work was, of course, MONEY! Dual income baby!! Also, I liked my job and my co-workers, and I was building a career and skill set.

So, we carefully weighed the pros and cons over and over and what it boiled down to was I just couldn't bare to leave baby Kenzo. So, I handed in my resignation and never looked back!

I never looked back, but that's not to say I haven't looked at other countries with envy. The US is way behind on maternity leave and support for mothers and their careers. According to Wikipedia, only 4 countries have no national law mandating paid maternity leave: Liberia, Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, and the United States. It's like that Sesame Street game, "one of these things is not like the other", hmmm... Sure, we have FMLA, but only companies with over a certain amount of employees are held required to abide by those guidelines.

In comparison to the US, here are some various parental leave programs I found around the world:

Japan offers 14 weeks of 60% pay and adds on 2 more months if mom and dad share the leave. Though, I can assure you paternity leave is more or less non-existent! You can take up to 1 year off, unpaid. BUT, there seems to be great amount pressure on women to outright quit before giving birth.

Canada gives 50 weeks at 55% pay, and 35 of those weeks can be shared with the dad. In Quebec (because they HAVE to be different, haha), the first 25 weeks are at 70% pay - NICE!!

The UK gives 39 weeks of paid leave, the first 6 weeks being at 90% pay and the remainder at a flat rate.

Sweden gives a whopping 16 MONTHS of paid leave, somewhere around 70-90%.

So, what was your maternity leave program like? Or did you decide to stay home - if so, how long and how did you like it?