Domestic Goddess, more like Un-Goddess

Pregnant with Kenzo, I truly felt in awe of my body and all that it was accomplishing. My big ol' belly growing a precious baby inside. My "sisters" preparing to do their very important job of nourishing baby once out in the world. I was even OK with the slight(??) enlargement of my hips and derriere so as better to support all the extra weight. I was embracing my time as a fertility goddess!

Now that baby is here, I think I have transitioned well into motherhood. My child is a happy chunky little babe, exploring the world with excitement and curiosity, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job so far, and really really enjoying it!!

But as a stay at home mom (yes, I am working, but it's not a 9-5 office job and I have much more free time than hubby, so it's all on my shoulders), I have to admit I hate hate hate the household duties. HATE!! So here's my list of things I will gladly pay someone to do for me once Miny Moe takes off and becomes a fortune 500 company. One can dream...

1) I would kill to have a housekeeper - even if it's just once a week or once every other week! Just someone to come in and do the dirty work - scrubbing toilets, dusting, vacuuming, you name it!

2) We need a chef. Let's face it, I'm a dunce in the kitchen, a dunce who hates being in the kitchen no less. That's the worst combo!! At the very least, I'd love to have someone give me a meal plan with recipes, because I can't even be bothered to look up fun things to make, which is fine for hubby who loves simple things like rice, steamed veggies, and a piece of fish. And that's usually what gets made cuz you don't have to look anything up. But it's so boring - boring to make and boring to eat. Better yet would be to have a chef who comes in a few times a week with several meals already cooked or prepared and just ready for me to cook up. Ah yes, that would be awesome, and healthy, and did I say awesome??

3) Someone to do the washing and ironing. Funny enough, I don't mind doing laundry, but the machines are across the courtyard in the next building and I'm stuck with the following choices: a) do it while Kenzo is napping in his crib - I'm gone 5 minutes tops at a time, so the risk is rather low, but it's probably technically illegal and makes me nervous, b) do it during the weekend when daddy is home, but this is family time and I don't want to waste it doing housework, or c) bring Kenzo along, but I can't manage the stroller and the laundry basket, and having him in a wrap is hard cuz I'm leaning over and he's thrown about and I have to watch out for his head/neck. And as far as ironing goes, I'm hopeless. Sure, I could get some more training in and learn it properly, but so far every time I've given it a go, hubby has to end up doing it again, so really, what is the damn point??

4) This isn't technically housework, but if we're talking about earning tons of money that we can't spend quick enough, well, I want a car and driver!! For now, Kenzo and I are happy strollering around the nabe, especially in this lovely spring weather! But summer will be upon us soon, sweltering humid sticky yucky summer. How nice would a car and driver be?? Did I mention we don't have AC in our apartment? I'd probably take advantage of the car just to get into a cool temp controlled climate!!

Is that really so much to ask for?? Or I can just suck it up, get off my lazy a$$, and start taking better care of my family and my apartment.... HA HA, yeah right, nice one Heather...