US Japan Fam
  • Blog
  • About Me
    • Hire Me!
    • Mommypreneur Coaching
    • Contact
    • Subscribe to our List Serves!
    • Press Page - Travel
    • Privacy Policy & Disclaimers
  • Day Trips & Weekend Getaways
  • Hudson Valley
    • Day Trips & Activities
  • Bay Ridge Families
    • Scavenger Hunt
    • Advertising
    • Submit Your Event
    • Summer Camp Guide
    • Birthday Party Guide
    • Classes & Activities for Babies & Toddlers
    • Bay Ridge Baby Sitters
    • Halloween Guide
    • Holiday Guide
    • Life in NYC >
      • Brooklyn
      • Bronx
      • Manhattan
      • Queens
      • Staten Island
  • Family Travel
  • Blog
  • About Me
    • Hire Me!
    • Mommypreneur Coaching
    • Contact
    • Subscribe to our List Serves!
    • Press Page - Travel
    • Privacy Policy & Disclaimers
  • Day Trips & Weekend Getaways
  • Hudson Valley
    • Day Trips & Activities
  • Bay Ridge Families
    • Scavenger Hunt
    • Advertising
    • Submit Your Event
    • Summer Camp Guide
    • Birthday Party Guide
    • Classes & Activities for Babies & Toddlers
    • Bay Ridge Baby Sitters
    • Halloween Guide
    • Holiday Guide
    • Life in NYC >
      • Brooklyn
      • Bronx
      • Manhattan
      • Queens
      • Staten Island
  • Family Travel

Sleep Training: Am I the trainee or trainer?

3/9/2013

6 Comments

 
Before I get to the system we're currently using to schedule our little one's sleep, let me give a quick review of his sleeping patterns from the start.

For the first week of life, little Kenzo was zonked out big time! I got yelled at by the nurse our first and only night in the hospital for letting him go 5 hours without feeding. Whoops! I haven't slept in 50+ hours and just pushed an 8 pound baby out of my hoohah - sorry if I wasn't exactly watching the clock. And it seems he was just as tired as I was! The whole first week I had to wake him up to feed, every 2.5  hours (4 hours at night - had to set my alarm clock!) as advised by the nurses. This was hard to do cuz he was so darn sleepy. Tricks included stripping him down to his diapers and tickling his feet and ears, but he still managed to pass out mid feed almost every time. I was worried maybe he wasn't drinking enough and the doc at his 4 day checkup freaked us out because he had lost 10% of his body weight, which is NORMAL by the way, but had us come back 2 days later for a weigh... by which time he'd already gained back the 10%! He would continue on this dramatic weight gain trajectory for the next couple of months! I'm very thankful I didn't panic and start supplementing with formula, because that could have decreased my milk supply and led us down a slippery slope of losing my milk supply completely.

Anyway, back from that tangent - After the first week, he got adjusted to my 2.5 hour schedule and I no longer was the one waking him up but vice versa. Every 2.5 hours around the clock. And this is including feeding, burping, and bouncing (not rocking - we only have a birth/exercise ball, not a rocking chair) him back to sleep. So, by the time he's back in bed we only slept about 1-1.5 hours. This went on until about the 5th week. EXHAUSTING!!!

After we were done hosting both sets of grandparents, yes in our tiny one bedroom apartment!, he was almost 7 weeks old and I decided it was time to figure out a better schedule that we could both thrive on. At that time, I was just letting him pass out whenever, but it was usually in your arms or on your lap, and the second you tried to transfer him to the crib he would wake up crying. He was also quite fussy - looking back on it he was just overly tired, poor guy!! My sister had given me a book/theory that had worked well for her: "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo and Robert Buckman. From what I've seen on the baby blogs and forums, this theory is a bit controversial, some say leading to dehydration and other issues, but I think those issues only arise when you are too strict with the schedule, whereas they repeatedly remind you that you need to be flexible as growth spurts and other times will require changes in the schedule.

The basic theory of Babywise is that the baby should be on a "eat, play, sleep" schedule, with that exact order being key. They recommend it from birth, so I wasn't sure how it would work starting from 7 weeks but they explain in the book how to adjust the schedule as the baby gets older so I just started with the suggested schedule for a 2 month old. It seemed counter intuitive to me since Kenzo is usually in a milk coma after feeding and seems the perfect time to put him down, but I decided to give it a go anyway. They do say you should put the baby down drowsy but not asleep, so they can learn how to self sooth and put themselves to sleep. I can't bare to start this part of the plan yet, I think he's too young for that. Maybe around 4 months we'll give the whole "cry it out" thing a go.

With this Babywise schedule, we basically give him a 12-hour day period and 12-hour night period. During the day time, we stick to a 3 hour cycle: 1.5 hours for eating and then playing, and 1.5 hour nap, and repeat. During the 12 hour night period, there is no "play" time. If he wakes up and seems hungry, I feed him. But quite often it's something else, like he needs a burp, needs spit-up wiped off his face, or just can't go back to sleep by himself, so I bounce him and put him back to bed.

He adjusted to the day time schedule pretty much immediately. I couldn't believe how his fussiness disappeared and he was just so much happier, as was I! I know he had been getting enough food all along, but definitely had been sleep deprived. His night time sleeping got better progressively from this point as well, though that could be a coincidence as he's getting older and more mature, but who knows. Right away he started having longer and longer periods of night time sleep. Now at 10 weeks he sleeps between 6-8 hours straight (technically "sleeping through the night", though for me 9-10 hours would be more like it!!), wakes up for a feed, and then from there doesn't do as well - only 1-3 hours at a time, with lots of grunts and groans, until the "day" period starts.

Here's our typical day:

10 AM - wake and feed
10:30 - 11:30 AM - awake time
11:30 AM - 1 PM - nap time
1 PM - wake and feed
1:30 - 3 PM - awake time
3 - 4:30 PM - nap time
4:30 PM - wake and feed
4:30 - 6 PM - awake time
6 - 7:30 PM - nap time
7:30 PM - wake and feed
7:30 - 9:45 PM - awake time (daddy time!)
9:45 PM - final feed
10 PM - bed time
5 AM - feed
7 AM - feed
8:30 AM - feed

All in all Kenzo gets about 8 feeds and 14-15 hours of sleep. His awake time is spent on the play mat, in the bouncy chair, tummy time, playing with mommy or daddy, listening to music or his Japanese books on CD, taking a bath, etc. When I need to run an errand or take a walk, I do that during his

So, Babywise really changed our lives! I get about 8-9 cumulative hours of sleep during his nighttime period, and no longer feel exhausted or have to nap during the day. Kenzo rarely fusses anymore, but I'm much more capable of realizing and solving the problem when there is one, whereas before the schedule I would have just shoved my boob at him guessing that he was hungry. #Momfail haha! Just so you know, I am not affiliated with the book or the authors, just found that it worked for me and it may be worth a try for some of you out there struggling with your little ones. I know there are TONS of books and different theories out there, and some will work better for you than others. So keep on reading and giving them a try til you find the right one for you and your family!! If you do want to give this one a try, it's super cheap on Amazon:
6 Comments
Erica
3/10/2013 01:50:20 am

Wow, thanks for the quick response! I will consider Babywise. I avoided that one because the reviews are so polarized, but if it's working for you, it's definitely the right choice for your family.

Let me tell you what our problems are and please let me know if you think Babywise would help. Maybe we could adapt to it without too much stress because we are doing eat-play-sleep and I do tend to put him down awake and let him settle himself (not by crying, though).

First of all, the books that I am relying on are Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Weissbluth), The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program (Moore), and Sleeping Through the Night (Mindell). I like them because they are written by doctors who specialize in infant sleep research, not just pediatricians. And they don't contradict each other, which makes me think that even though there seems to be a lot of controversy about sleep training, the actual experts are on the same page. They all emphasize working with your baby's natural sleep rhythms to maximize healthy sleep. The take away is general guidelines, rather than specific plans. I'm going off on a tangent, but I would love for my husband and me to read the same book in English and Japanese. There are some translations of Western baby sleep books, but I can only find opinion books like Tracy Hogg, etc. I prefer evidence-based information. If you have a recommendation of a book we can both read in our native languages, please let me know.

So, anyway, these are my issues:

Short naps: Keito (9 weeks old and 8 weeks from the actual due date) often sleeps for only 30-45 minutes at a time these days. When he was under a month old, he would sometimes nap up to 3 or even 4 hours. It would be great if I could find a way to get him to sleep longer again. Even though I am very strict with myself about getting him into a nap at the right time, he is not getting enough sleep in a day because he is a short napper.

Sleeping on me: I nap with him in my bed once or twice a day, but other than that he often falls asleep on me and I can't transfer him to the crib without him crying. I would like to get him to sleep on his own. He can definitely do it and does it sometimes everyday but I want it to be more consistent eventually.

Missing the evening nap: After my husband comes home from work our schedule gets thrown off and he (the baby) often gets overtired and cranky.

Fragmented night sleep: A typical night is going to bed between 10:00 and 11:00, waking up to eat after 2.5-3.5 hours, sleeping again for another 3 hours or so, eating again, and then sleeping again for another hour or two. It could be worse and I can personally deal with the fragmented sleep for now, but I'm worried that he is not sleeping enough at one time. A few weeks ago, he was regularly sleeping for 4 hour stretches and sometimes up to 5 and a half hours, but that changed around 6 weeks.

Bed time: Right now it is all over the place, but 10:30 is probably the most common. I think he should probably be going to bed earlier, if not now then by the time he gets to 3 or 4 months. I could start his bedtime routine early, but he LOVES his bath time with Daddy and, if we want to continue that, we have to wait until Koji is home from work (8pm at the earliest). I know we should probably sacrifice father-son bath time for quality sleep, but it's a sad choice.

Those are my concerns! Do you have any advice? Could Babywise help with any of this?

Reply
Heather
3/10/2013 11:53:55 am

Hey Erica, thanks for the comment! I feel your pain and wish I could offer better advise. As for the waking up before what we think is the right amount of sleep, what I've read and what I've seen with our little one is you should be aware of the mood he's in when he wakes up. If he wakes up and is cooing or calling out and smiley when you reach him, he's probably gotten enough sleep. If he's crying, there is probably something wrong that can be resolved and he can be put back to sleep. Maybe he needs to be burped, or maybe he just woke up and couldn't settle himself back down. This could be what's going on with yours, or maybe not, but something to keep in mind that's worked pretty well for us. Kenzo still wakes up halfway through his naps about 1/3 of the time, but is pretty quickly bounced back to sleep.

In regard to falling asleep on you and waking up when you try to transfer him, we have the same problem unless he is completely zonked out. So, to avoid this, I try to put him in the crib for naps knowing he'll get better (and longer) rest there than on me. But it is so sweet when they sleep in our arms or on our laps or on our chests... so you gotta go with it and enjoy it sometimes eh?

The evening stretch of the schedule is toughest for me too, as I feel like a nap too close to official bedtime might lessen his nighttime sleep. Not sure if this is just in my head, I've not really tested it out! But I try to stick to our schedule and if sometimes daddy misses baby time if he gets home too late, but in that case daddy is pretty pooped and wouldn't have had quality time with Kenzo anyway.

For the night time, this is totally up to each mom and how she feels, but if you feel like he should and can go longer between feedings, you might want to avoid automatically feeding him when he wakes up at night. If it's only been 3 hours since his last feeding, you may try burping him and then rocking him back to sleep. You might be surprised that he'll go back down for another 2-3 hours and will eventually stretch this continuous stretch of sleep on his own. That's what's been happening in our house. If he's really hungry, he won't go back to sleep, so I don't think we have to worry about starving these little guys! But do what you feel comfortable doing, some moms might think this is a terrible idea, but when they start sleeping 7-8 hours at a stretch like our little one is doing now, OMG, it's sooooooooooooo nice!! I'm happy, he's happy, we're all happy ^_^

And as for bedtime, I don't think there is a specific time that's good. I think each family is different. We both have daddies who get home late and I prefer to keep Kenzo up late to have some daddy time, and I'm not working so we can sleep in later in the morning, and it's working for us now! When he's older, he might wake up with the sun, and we might have to move his bedtime much earlier, but hopefully by that time he'll be sleeping 10-12 hours straight so that would be fine with me but poor daddy!!

Reply
Erica
3/10/2013 09:05:06 pm

Thanks, Heather!! I will keep at it.

You're right -- when he wakes up crying from a nap after 40 minutes, he always has a wet diaper (he's pee maniac and always has a wet diaper anyway, but that's a different story). I'm going to try harder to get him settled into sleep again after the diaper change. I tried it yesterday and he slept again for about an hour (but on my lap) as well as this morning, when he was only able to go for another 15 minutes in his day bed (I don't know what to call it -- baby rack in Japanese).

Last night I tried extending his sleep by just patting him and once even picking him up and jiggling him back to sleep. It worked and he went 4 hours instead of 3! Since he was slow to gain weight I was pretty much conditioned to feed him as frequently as possible.

Do you think I should get a yoga ball? We don't have a rocking chair and it would be nice to give him some repetitive motion to help him fall asleep. So far, I just rock him in my arms or walk him around but that gets tiring. The appeal of the ball would be I could deflate it when we decide we don't need it. But I wonder if it would just create another "crutch" for him? I don't want to be bouncing him to sleep forever.

Reply
Heather
3/11/2013 02:30:01 am

Good job, Erica!! I'm glad it's helping you!! You may wanna go over your schedule with your doctor, since Keito was (is?) a slow gainer), and make sure he's making enough pee and poo, yum! hehe

As for getting a bouncy ball, well, mine was donated to me by my sister, and we love it! My husband uses it for exercising and stretching and as an extra seat when we have a lot of guests over. I used it while pregnant and now as a tool to get Kenzo to sleep. And you're right, it may be a "crutch" that I'll have to wean him off of later, but for now it's a life saver. Though, my back used to hurt when using it, I guess I've strengthened up since his first couple of weeks! I would LOVE a glider, and my mom has a rocking chair we love to use when we visit, but there is just no space in here >_< We can quickly deflate the ball, and re-inflate with the pump we have for our air mattress (another nice purchase for guests!). So, you may want to try one if you can find one for a reasonable price, but if you are fine holding him, that works too!

Reply
Erica
3/11/2013 10:43:31 pm

Well, I bought the bouncy ball! Haven't tried it yet, though. We did much better with naps yesterday and I increased his total daily sleep by a couple hours. However, night time was worse than ever! His longest sleep was less than 3 hours. I think it was because by the time he went to bed at 10:00, he had only eaten 7 times instead of his normal 8, so he was legitimately hungry. And I let him nap for over 2 hours in the late evening . . .

We will keep trying. I hope tonight is better!

Reply
Heather
3/12/2013 02:42:24 am

Oh yikes, sorry to hear about your rough night! Don't give up though, supposedly it often takes about 3 days to get them adjusted to a schedule. And the book says that they will adjust their intake so they're getting the same amount of calories despite eliminating a feeding. But who really knows, it all seems to be trial and error for each baby, so good luck and keep us posted!!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Follow on Bloglovin
    Contact Me!
    Picture
    Follow @usjapanfam

    RSS Feed

    Picture

    About Me ^_^

    I'm a NYC metro area mom blogger living in NJ with my Japanese husband & our 3 kids (twins plus 1).  This blog is chock full of product reviews, family travel guides, and giveaways galore! It's also home to Bay Ridge Families, and several guides focused on kid-friendly activities and guides to South Brooklyn, Hudson Valley, and New Jersey, as well as family-friendly destinations beyond the NYC area (check the menu bar!)

    Brand Ballot
    Picture
    Legit Ways To Make Money From Home - a stay at home mom's guide to working from home
    The Network Niche

    USFamilyGuide.com

    Parent Reviewers Directory Listing

    Categories

    All
    Baby
    Babywearing
    Babywise
    Bay Ridge
    Bilingual
    Birth Story
    Breastfeeding
    Childbirth
    Co Sleeping
    Co-sleeping
    Fashion
    Fitness
    Giveaway
    Guest Post
    Hair Dye
    Healthy Living
    Home
    Hudson Valley
    Hypnobabies
    Interracial Marriage
    Japan
    Jet Programme
    Learn Japanese
    Maternity Leave
    Mommy Nearest
    Motherhood
    New York
    Pregnancy
    Review
    School
    Sleep Training
    Sponsored Post
    Stay At Home Mother
    Technology
    Toddler Faves
    Toddlers
    Travel
    Twin Pregnancy
    Twins
    Vaccination
    Vlog
    Weaning
    Weightloss
    YouTube / Social

    Archives

    February 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    June 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    December 2012

Proudly powered by Weebly