What They DON'T Tell You to Expect When You're Expecting (and afterward)

Despite having read all the books and gotten the down and dirty play by play from friends and family, I definitely ran across a few surprises during my pregnancy and after giving birth. Here's a fun list I and some mommy friends came up with - feel free to add your own nuggets!!

1) The linea nigra doesn’t go away for a LONG time (mine didn't show up til the 9th month, but now 3 months postpartum it's still there, but fading slowly) <**Update: June 25 - 6 months postpartum, it's almost completely gone, just the faintest of faintest lines remain>

2) Just when you think you’ve made it through without any stretch marks, they can arrive AFTER delivery – hoorah!

3) Things down under won’t look the same after a vaginal birth (i.e. formerly sealed parts are no longer so and will remain that way, WHAAAAAAAAA??? learned this at my 6 week postpartum checkup)

4) Washable nursing pads are a joke and last all of 30 minutes before you’re dripping through your shirt (if you’re an over-supplier as I am). **Tip - get the disposable ones, they are miraculous!!

5) Newborns have explosive poops that hilariously trigger their startle reflex!

6) Your milk will be out of control, shooting your little one all over the face, running all over yourself when you're drying off from your shower (during which they were doing their own bit of shower)

7) During labor and pushing, you really do feel like a bowling ball is coming out of your a$$. Afterwards, you will dread anything coming out of said orifice, and when it does, some say it's worse than childbirth!! **Tip, lots of water, fiber, & stool softeners, and for cleaning up - water spritzer & moist witch hazel pads (not toilet paper, ouch)

8) Pooping will not be your only dreaded bodily function for about a week after giving birth. Sneezing and coughing will put the fear of god in you for sure!

9) Babies have great timing for peeing and pooping the second you take off that diaper. Be prepared for yourself and surrounding walls and furniture to get covered in #1 and #2 a few times! **Tip, cover your boy's bits immediately after pulling the diaper back - you can use a peepee teepee, a washcloth, or my personal favorite, a wipe.

10) Your baby's soft spot will randomly pulsate, taking on a life of its own - FREAKY!

11) If breastfeeding, food cravings and hunger can be worse than while pregnant! Who'd have though!? Alas, you are burning a lot more calories, so it makes sense!

12) You might go an entire day(s) without changing your clothes or brushing your teeth, and you really won't care! haha!

13) Immediately after giving birth, you still look about 7 months pregnant. It gradually deflates over the first few weeks.

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